A Silent Turmoil

In the skies
Crackling light
Ruptured in the silence as sheer might
Like a weapon
That murdered the stars

In the night
Shrilling voice
Exposed in the silence as a whimper
Yet a roar
From a tortured soul

Bit by bit
I split apart

In the heart
Bleeding scars
Swallowed in the silence as a teardrop
Like a poison
That dissolved the soul

Inside me
Breaking glass
Crumbled in the silence as jigsaw
Like a million shards
From a broken mirror

All that is left is nobody
Who will pick up these pieces for me

In this confusing world, the self becomes incongruent.
Behind a face, can be a fractured being, confused
yet full of desire to be whole again.
Do you feel the same?

Sometimes, I cry in the night,
not knowing when I can be whole again.
Sometimes, I feel the hot tears down my face.
And I realised that tears are scars of the soul.

Image: Getty Images (www.sheknows.com/health-and-wellness/articles/1105697/types-of-tears-and-their-benefits)



7 thoughts on “A Silent Turmoil

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      1. Wow. A 道德经 reference. I like the adaptation a lot :D. From my basic understanding of 道德经, I would however interpret is as:

        One’s self has to be broken,
        Before the self can be whole again.

        Was this what you intended when you shared the quote? (Pardon me for my ignorance, as I have yet to fully appreciate the depth and complexities of 道德经.)

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Wow, you understood my reference to the Dao De Jing, even though I mangled it.

        What you said about everything and nothing being the same made me think of Daoism, so I spent some time looking through the DDJ, and didn’t find anything that fit perfectly, so I ‘adapted’ a couple of other things, as you say.

        As I’m sure you already know, the source for the first two lines is ch. 36 (微明), which says 將欲歙之, 必固張之, etc. I borrowed the grammar only. The concept isn’t really what we were talking about (how nothing and everything are the same).

        無則全 I stole from ch. 22 (益謙), which has 曲則全, which is a little closer to what we were talking about.

        I like your interpretation, “One’s self has to be broken, Before the self can be whole again.” Actually, I think it sounds pretty Christian. I’ve been reading St. Augustine, and it took me a while to understand why he was warning against “self-confidence”: because a sense of your own worth and control distracts you from crediting God with all that you have. (I’m not Catholic or even Christian, by the way.) There is a Japanese Buddhist who likewise believed that sinful people were more likely than righteous ones to be saved because they would throw themselves fully upon Amida’s mercy and not expect to be saved by their own efforts.

        St. Augustine, again, seemed to believe that wretchedness was a prerequisite to salvation, and I think your “One’s self has to be broken, Before the self can be whole again” approximates St. Augustine, even though its viewpoint is Daoist.

        I hope you don’t mind my writing all over your blog, but all this is very thought-provoking.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. No worries. I like the comments a lot! It’s a humbling experience to realise how much I don’t know (what scares me sometimes is that I don’t know what I don’t know). I am glad that you shared all these wonderful perspectives and knowledge. 🙂 Really enjoyed learning from you 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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